Before arriving at Family Care Ministries on October 25th, 2022, my life had declined mentally, emotionally and physically to the point that my only prayer to God was my constant and desperate cry for him to bring an end to my life long suffering once and for all. I could not stand living in my demented world any longer. The self induced and destructive world where I was unimaginably tormented and in so much physical and emotional pain however; too weak to protect myself from being used, abused, and beaten daily. I was close to attempting to commit suicide for the third time in my 34 years of life. I was determined that this time I would finally succeed. I was convinced that my life was cursed and meant nothing to anybody and I never would.
A severe drug user for many years, I have found myself addicted to pills, alcohol, heroin, suboxone, cocaine, crack cocaine, and methamphetamines. In and out of psychiatric wards and evaluated several times my diagnoses included;
Bipolar 1, Manic depression, PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Explosive Anger Disorder, and Borderline Personality Disorder. I was prescribed large amounts of pharmaceutical medications for many years of my life. Those medications left me feeling like nothing more than a test lab rat. Neither street drugs or pharmaceutical drugs could soothe my deep emotional pain. Completing a rehab program and committing myself into a sober living facility proved to be ineffective as well. I found no real recovery and eventually relapsed.
January 14th 2022, my door was kicked in by the Police with an active search warrant to raid my premises for illicit drugs.
That day I lost my career as a drug dealer, my home, car, all my customers who I considered “friends,” and my relationship with my daughter. Sustaining so much trauma and loss I was left with deep rooted feelings of rejection, hopelessness, despair and defeat. I was left in the streets, alone and starving. Beaten, raped, robbed and sleeping under bridges. I had been within three homeless shelters before coming to Family Care Ministries.
Family Care Ministries and their dedicated staff have worked diligently to pick up the broken pieces of my life. Their unconditional love for me is evident. I have never felt more safe physically, mentally and emotionally than I do here at the Freedom Home. Being in the presence of honest people who are so devoted to loving and serving God and helping people has restored my faith in God, myself and humanity. For the first time in my entire life I can confidently state that I am truly grateful that I am alive. To be able to write this testimony and share my story is a privilege. I feel blessed to wake up each morning with a genuine love for God, myself and other people and to feel loved in return. Each day I am becoming more secure in my relationship with the Lord. I have found unspeakable joy. I have experienced peace beyond my own understanding. I now know that my life has value because I am worth something to God. Through him I have found hope anew. Each day I will choose to believe I have purpose. I will aim to love God and help people the way God has loved me and Family Care Ministries has loved me!